إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

Islam does not give a specific age for marriage, either for the husband or for the wife. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months, along with those who have it not”

[al-Talaaq 65:4].

Al-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “along with those who have it [menses] not” means minors, those who have not yet started to menstruate. Adult women who have never menstruated at all are like those who “despair of menstruation” (i.e., have passed menopause); their ‘iddah is three months. End quote.

Tafseer al-Sa‘di, p. 870

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) when she was six years old and the marriage was consummated when she was nine years old. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4840) and Muslim (1422).

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Kabeer, 7/386:

With regard to females, the father may give his minor, virgin daughter who has not yet reached the age of nine in marriage, and there is no difference of opinion concerning that, if he gives her in marriage to someone who is compatible. Ibn al-Mundhir said: All of those scholars from whom we acquired knowledge unanimously agreed that it is permissible for a father to give his minor daughter in marriage if he arranges her to someone who is compatible, and it is permissible for him to do that even if she is reluctant.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

It is haraam for the guardian (wali) of the woman to force her to marry someone she does not want and does not like, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission has been sought.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6968; Muslim, 1419.

The apparent meaning is that this is general and applies to every virgin and every guardian; there is no difference between a father or any other guardian, hence al-Bukhaari interpreted the hadeeth by saying: “Chapter: The father or other guardian should not give a virgin or previously married woman in marriage except with their consent.”

The woman’s guardian has to fear Allah with regard to his daughters and not give them in marriage to anyone except those with whom they are pleased from among men who are compatible and suitable. The guardian should only give her in marriage for her interests, not for his own.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: With regard to giving her in marriage when she is reluctant, this is contrary to the basic principles and common sense. Moreover Allah did not allow her guardian to force her into buying or renting without her permission, or to eat or drink or wear something that she does not want, so how can he force her into sleeping with and living with someone she does not want to sleep with, and living with someone she does not want to live with.

Allah wants love and compassion between the spouses, and how can that be attained when she hates him and does not like him? What kind of love and compassion can there be in that case?!

Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 32/25

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

It was narrated that Thaabit al-Banaani said: I was with Anas, and he had with him a daughter of his. Anas said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and offered herself to him (for marriage). She said: O Messenger of Allah, do you have any need of me? The daughter of Anas said: How lacking in modesty she was; how shameful, how shameful! Anas said: She was better than you; she wanted to marry the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so she offered herself to him (for marriage).

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4828)

Imam al-Bukhaari included this report in a chapter entitled: Chapter on a woman offering herself for marriage to a righteous man.

The righteous woman hinted at her desire to marry Moosa (peace be upon him) by saying – as Allah, may He be exalted, tells us (interpretation of the meaning): “And said one of them (the two women): ‘O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy’” [al-Qasas 28:26].

What appears to be the case is that she was the one whom her father offered in marriage to Moosa (peace be upon him), as Allah, may He be exalted, tells us (interpretation of the meaning): “He said: ‘I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years’” [al-Qasas 28:27].

This is a message to your guardians, telling them that they should fear Allah, may He be exalted, and give up this tribal feeling and look for a righteous man to whom they may give you in marriage. At least they should not reject anyone who is of good character and religiously committed. That righteous man offered his daughter in marriage to Moosa (peace be upon him) after she herself had implicitly suggested that, and that righteous woman offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) openly, without hinting. In both cases that was not contrary to modesty; rather it was indicative of strong religious commitment and mature thinking on the part of the woman and on the part of her guardian.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:

1. Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on.

2. There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words.

3. There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words.

The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:

1. Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.

2. Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)

The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.”

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth)

The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.”

(Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

The divine decree means that Allaah has decreed all things from eternity, and He knows that they will happen at the times that are known to Him, in specific ways as He has written and willed. They will happen as He has decreed them and created them.

Belief in the divine decree is one of the pillars of faith without which a person’s faith is not valid, and belief in the divine decree is not valid unless the Muslim believes in the four principles of the divine decree which are:

1 – Belief that Allaah knows all things in general and in details from eternity, and not even an atom is hidden from Him in heaven or on earth.

2 – Belief that Allaah wrote all that in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz, fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.

3 – Belief in the effective will of Allaah and His all-encompassing power. Nothing happens in this universe, good or bad, except by His will, may He be glorified.

4 – Belief that everything is created by Allaah; He is the Creator of all things and the Creator of their attributes and actions.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

For a man to be attracted to a woman and vice versa is something that Allah has caused to be quite natural in people, so that the human race might be perpetuated and not cease to exist on earth until Allah, may He be exalted, decrees, and so that an atmosphere of comfort and tranquillity may be created within the family.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”

[ar-Room 31:21].

So a man is not to be blamed for feeling an attraction towards women.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

There is no blame on one who feels love towards women; rather this is a sign of perfect manhood.

End quote from ad-Daa’ wa’d-Dawaa’ (p. 552).

This means that this inclination is a sound manly characteristic.

It was narrated that Anas said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women and perfume have been made dear to me, and my comfort is in prayer.” Narrated by an-Nasaa’i (3940); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan an-Nasaa’i (3940).

If a man finds himself attracted to a non-mahram woman outside the framework of marriage, it may be difficult for him to rid his heart of that. Hence Islamic teachings dictate keeping away from anything that could lead to this kind of attraction and taking precautions to prevent it happening in the first place.

Infatuation and attraction do not usually develop in the heart except because of letting one’s gaze wander freely; failing to lower the gaze and refrain from looking at that which is prohibited; and doing that which strengthens this infatuation, such as listening to haraam songs, reading or watching love stories, letting one’s thoughts wander, and letting the infatuation take root, especially if one’s heart is spiritually weak and devoid of remembrance of Allah, may He be exalted.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The steps that lead to infatuation are under one’s control, and what is required is to avoid them. Looking, harbouring thoughts and exposing oneself to circumstances in which one may fall in love are all voluntary matters (that should be avoided), but once one takes those steps, then what results from that is something that a person has no control over.

It is like the intoxication that results from drinking alcohol: if consuming the intoxicant is something voluntary, what results from it of intoxication becomes beyond one’s control. As the means that led to that state was something that the individual chose and was not forced to do, he is not to be excused from what results from it that is not under his control. If the means is haraam, then the intoxicated person is not excused.

No doubt looking repeatedly and dwelling on thoughts is like drinking an intoxicant, so the individual is to be blamed for not keeping away from that which led to this outcome.

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 225).

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

The ruling on marriage for men differs according to their situations and circumstances. Marriage is obligatory on the man who is able to marry and longs to get married, and fears “hardship” otherwise, because it is obligatory for him to protect himself from doing haraam deeds and to keep himself chaste – and this can only be achieved through marriage.

Al-Qurtubi said: if a person is able to marry and fears that he may be harmed or his religious commitment may be adversely affected if he remains single, the only way to prevent this harm is through marriage, and there is no difference of opinion among the scholars – they agree that marriage is obligatory on such a person.

Al-Mardaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Al-Insaaf: Part Three: the one who fears “hardship”. In the case of such a person, marriage is obligatory, and this is the unanimous opinion of the scholars… “Hardship” here means zinaa (fornication), according to the correct opinion. Or it was said that it means being doomed by committing zinaa… What is meant by “Unless he fears that he may fall into committing forbidden actions” means, if he knows or thinks that he will do that. In Al-Furoo’ it says: (marriage) becomes obligatory only when he is sure that he will do that.

(Al-Insaaf, part 8; Kitaab al-Nikaah, Ahkaam al-Nikaah).

If he wants to get married but is unable to spend on a wife, then he should adhere to the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33]

So he should fast a lot, because of the hadeeth narrated from Ibn Mas’ood who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young people, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it helps one to lower the gaze and protect the private parts (i.e., remain chaste). Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it is a protection for him.”

‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: “Nothing is stopping you from getting married except incapacity or immorality.”

(See Fiqh Al-Sunnah, 2/15-17)

Marriage is obligatory on anyone who is single and committing sin such as looking or kissing. If a man or women knows or thinks it most likely that if he does not get married he will commit zinaa – or whatever comes under the same rulings or is similar to it, such as masturbation, then marriage is obligatory. It is still obligatory even if a person knows that he will still commit sin after marriage, because once he is married he will be less likely to commit sin, because he will be distracted from it at least part of the time, whereas if he remains single he will commit sin all the time.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

With regard to marriage of an ambiguously intersex individual who has both male and female anatomy – that is, he has a penis like a male and a vulva like a female, and it is not clear whether he is male or female, such as if he can urinate both like a man and like a woman, and there is no other sign to determine whether he is male or female – in this case marriage is not valid for him, and he should not marry either a woman or a man. He should not marry a female because of the possibility that he may be female, and a female cannot marry another female; nor should he marry a male because of the possibility that he may be male, and a male cannot marry another male. In this case he should remain unmarried until the matter becomes clear; when it becomes clear, if he is male then he may marry a female, and if he is female then she may marry a male. The ruling is that marriage is temporarily forbidden, until the matter becomes clear.

ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/160

The shaykh (may Allah have mercy on him) also said:

If he has sexual desire and is currently disallowed to marry according to sharee‘ah, then what should he do? We would tell him that the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering one’s gaze and guarding one’s chastity. Whoever is not able to do that must fast.” So we would tell him to fast. If he says that he cannot fast, then he can be given some medicine to make things easier for him. This is better than telling him to extract semen in ways that are not permissible.

ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/161

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

The most correct opinion, which is supported by evidence, is that it is obligatory to cover the face, therefore young women are forbidden to uncover their faces in front of non-mahram men in order to avoid any mischief, and they should certainly do so when there is fear of fitnah (temptation).

On this basis, the fuqaha’ stated that in certain situations, women are permitted to uncover their faces in front of non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, and it is permitted for those men to look at them, provided that this do not go beyond the bounds of what is necessary, because what is permitted on the grounds of necessity should not be exaggerated.

These special situations may be summed up as follows:

I – Proposal of marriage

It is permitted for a woman to uncover her face and hands in front of a man who wants to propose to her, so that he may see them, without being alone with her and without touching her, because the face gives an indication of ugliness or beauty, and the hands give an indication of whether the body is slender or plump (which in turn gives an impression about fertility).

Abu’l-Faraj al-Maqdisi said: “The scholars do not differ as to the permissibility of looking at the face… the focal point of beauty, the place one looks at…”

Many ahaadeeth indicate that it is permissible for a man to look at the woman to whom he is proposing marriage. Among them are the following:

1. Sahl ibn Sa’d (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I came to give myself to you in marriage.’ So the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her, he raised his gaze and stared at her, then he lowered his head. When the woman saw that he had not made any decision, she sat down. Then a man from among his Companions stood up and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if you don’t want to marry her, then marry her to me.’ …”

Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I was with the Prophet , and a man came to him and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Have you looked at her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.’”

الله أعلم

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

 The rights of the wife which are hers alone:

 The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

 And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

 1.Financial rights

 (a)The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [al-Baqarah 2:236]

The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.

If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.

(b)Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.

What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]

 From the Sunnah:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)

 It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

 (c)Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]

 2.Non-financial rights

 (i)Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.

(ii)Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

(c) Not harming one’s wife.

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

 It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

 The husband’s rights over his wife.

 The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]

 al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

 Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.

 These rights include:

 (a)The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

 ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)

 (b)Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

 It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

 (c)Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851)

It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

 (d)Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.

(e)Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.

(f)The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

 Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

 She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)

(g)Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

(h)The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allah’s love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived.

Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allah’s choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.

So O maidservant of Allah, hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allah and displeasure at the distribution of Allah and having a bad opinion of Allah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)

And the Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

There is no report in the Sunnah – as far as we know – to specify the time for this du‘aa’, so if one wishes, it may be recited before praying the two rak‘ahs or after.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked: They say that there is a prayer for getting married and they call it Sunnah or Sunnat al-zawaaj (the Sunnah of marriage), and it is before consummation. And they say: Pray two rak‘ahs, and after that comes the consummation. Please advise us, thank you.

He replied:

It is narrated in some reports from some of the Sahaabah that one should pray two rak‘ahs before consummating the marriage, but there is no reliable report concerning that in terms of soundness. But if you pray two rak‘ahs as some of the early generation did, there is nothing wrong with it; and if you do not do that, there is nothing wrong with it. The matter is broad in scope, but I do not know of any reliable, saheeh Sunnah concerning the matter. End quote.

http://www.binbaz.org.sa/mat/15590 

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

With regard to the du‘aa’, he should put his hand on the front of her head and say: “Allaahumma inni as’aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a‘oodhi bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allah, verily I ask You for her good and the good of what You have created in her, and I ask seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil of what You have created in her).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2160); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Sunan Abi Dawood.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

When a Muslim wants to consummate his marriage, a number of things are recommended in the sunnah:

He should treat his bride kindly and gently, like offering her something to drink and so on, because of the hadeeth narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazeed ibn al-Sakan, who said: “I prepared ‘Aa’ishah as a bride when she married the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I came to him and invited him to see her (uncover her face). So he came and sat beside her, and a large cup of milk was brought to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank some, then offered it to her, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I rebuked her and said: ‘Take it from the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So she took it and drank a little, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, ‘Give some to your companion (meaning himself).’”

He should place his hand on his bride’s head and pray for her, saying “Bismillaah” and asking for barakah (blessing), saying the words reported in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, let him say: ‘Allaahumma inni as’aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a’oodhu bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allaah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness which You have created in her, and I seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil which You have created in her).’” Abu Dawud said that Abu Sa’eed added: “Then let him take hold of her forelock and pray for blessing from this woman or servant.”

When he wants to consummate the marriage, he should say the words reported in the hadeeth reported by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it.”

(For more information, see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani, p. 91)

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

With regard to having a wedding party in the Islamic manner, you have to keep away from the things which are forbidden in sharee’ah but which many people do not pay attention to during celebrations, such as the following:

With regard to the woman: going to a male, non-mahram hairdresser to have her hair done; or adorning herself in ways that are haraam, such as thinning the eyebrows by plucking them, or wearing tattoos, or wearing hair extensions, or other kinds of haraam things, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has that done, the one who adds hair extensions and the one who asks to have that done; imitating the kuffaar in their dress, because usually the wedding dress shows many of the woman's charms and her body, in such a way that the dress is very revealing - we seek refuge with Allaah – and also a great deal of money is wasted on the dress.

Among the haraam actions that have to do with the man are: shaving his beard for the wedding night, which is done on the grounds that this makes him look more handsome, but this is something which is haraam according to sharee’ah; letting one's clothes hang below the ankle (isbaal).

There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party:

1- Mixing of men with women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter.

2- Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves.

3- Drinking alcohol or eating pork.

4- Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife.

5- Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam – so how about wearing such things in front of men?

6- People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing.

7- The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband’s love for his wife and vice versa.

Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed their marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems they will encounter in their married life. For if the married life is based from the outset on haraam things which go against the commands of Allaah, how can they expect the marriage to be successful after that? There have been many marriages in which there were things that went against the commands of Allaah, and they did not last. Fear Allaah with regard to this party and keep it free of things that are forbidden in Islam.

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

Marriage is not permissible and is not valid except with a wali, according to the majority of scholars, because of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “There is no marriage without a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Majaah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ 7557.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.

The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her (half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal uncles; then the ruler. (al-Mughni 9/355).

But if the wali repeatedly refuses the proposal of a compatible suitor, he is to be regarded as preventing the marriage of the female relative under his care, and his guardianship is thus rendered null and void, and that right is transferred to the next closest relative on the father’s side.

الله أعلم

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.

If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)

Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:

The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”

But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.  

الله أعلم

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5066) and Muslim (1400) from Ibn Mas‘ood, who said: We were with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), young men who had nothing of wealth. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

The phrase translated here as “afford it” refers to the costs of marriage; the Lawgiver wanted to highlight this principle, which is that marriage is not merely a contract or fulfilling one’s desire in a permissible manner; rather it is responsibilities and duties, and it is the man who is responsible for his wife’s maintenance.

This also indicates that in the case of one who is unable to get married, it is prescribed for him to focus on fasting, because it weakens desire and reduces the influence of the Shaytaan, so it is one of the means of attaining chastity and lowering the gaze.

Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (3/329)

The words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), “whoever among you can afford it, let him get married” also indicate that what is prescribed for the one who is able to afford the costs and responsibilities of marriage is to hasten to get married.

The scholars of the Standing Committee said: Hastening to get married, for a younger man, is the Sunnah for whoever can afford the expenses of marriage and fulfil the duties of marriage.”

Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (18/6)

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

For a man to be attracted to a woman and vice versa is something that Allah has caused to be quite natural in people, so that the human race might be perpetuated and not cease to exist on earth until Allah, may He be exalted, decrees, and so that an atmosphere of comfort and tranquillity may be created within the family.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”

[ar-Room 31:21].

So a man is not to be blamed for feeling an attraction towards women.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

There is no blame on one who feels love towards women; rather this is a sign of perfect manhood.

ad-Daa’ wa’d-Dawaa’ (p. 552).

This means that this inclination is a sound manly characteristic.

It was narrated that Anas said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women and perfume have been made dear to me, and my comfort is in prayer.” Narrated by an-Nasaa’i (3940); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan an-Nasaa’i (3940).

If a man finds himself attracted to a non-mahram woman outside the framework of marriage, it may be difficult for him to rid his heart of that. Hence Islamic teachings dictate keeping away from anything that could lead to this kind of attraction and taking precautions to prevent it happening in the first place.

Infatuation and attraction do not usually develop in the heart except because of letting one’s gaze wander freely; failing to lower the gaze and refrain from looking at that which is prohibited; and doing that which strengthens this infatuation, such as listening to haraam songs, reading or watching love stories, letting one’s thoughts wander, and letting the infatuation take root, especially if one’s heart is spiritually weak and devoid of remembrance of Allah, may He be exalted.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The steps that lead to infatuation are under one’s control, and what is required is to avoid them. Looking, harbouring thoughts and exposing oneself to circumstances in which one may fall in love are all voluntary matters (that should be avoided), but once one takes those steps, then what results from that is something that a person has no control over.

It is like the intoxication that results from drinking alcohol: if consuming the intoxicant is something voluntary, what results from it of intoxication becomes beyond one’s control. As the means that led to that state was something that the individual chose and was not forced to do, he is not to be excused from what results from it that is not under his control. If the means is haraam, then the intoxicated person is not excused.

No doubt looking repeatedly and dwelling on thoughts is like drinking an intoxicant, so the individual is to be blamed for not keeping away from that which led to this outcome.

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 225).

إِنّ الْحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِالِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ
سَيّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ الُ فَلَ مُضِلّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْهُ فَلَ هَادِيَ لَهُ.
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَ إِلَهَ إِلّ الُ وَحْدَهُ لَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنّ مُحَمّدًا عَبْدُهُ
وَرَسُوْلُهُ.

If there was agreement between the two spouses, or between the husband and the woman’s guardian, that the marriage would be temporary and last for a set period of time, such as one or two years, or an unknown period of time, and that agreement was at the time of the contract or before it, then the marriage is invalid, because it is a mut‘ah (temporary) marriage, even if all the necessary conditions of marriage were fulfilled.

It says in al-Mughni (7/136): Mut‘ah marriage is not permissible – what is meant by mut‘ah marriage is that the man marries the woman for a particular length of time, such as if he says: I give you my daughter in marriage for a month, or a year, or until the Hajj ends, or until the pilgrim returns, and so on, whether the exact period is known or not. This is an invalid marriage, as was stated by Ahmad who said: Mut‘ah marriage is haraam.

This is the view of the majority of the Sahaabah and fuqaha’. Among those from whom it was narrated that it is haraam were: ‘Umar, ‘Ali, Ibn ‘Umar, Ibn Mas‘ood, and Ibn az-Zubayr. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: Maalik, the people of Madinah, Abu Haneefah among the people of Iraq, al-Awzaa‘i among the people of Syria, al-Layth among the people of Egypt, and ash-Shaafa‘i were of the view that it is haraam.

Another example of mut‘ah marriage is doing the marriage contract with a woman on condition that he will divorce her when the stated period ends, whether it is known or unknown.

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘ (5/97): Mut‘ah marriage is when a man marries a woman for a certain period, whether it is known or unknown, such as if the guardian says: I give you my daughter in marriage for a month, or for a year, or I give her to you in marriage until the Hajj season ends, or until the pilgrim returns, and so on, whether the period is known or otherwise.

If the husband stipulates in the marriage that he will divorce her at a certain time, even if it is unknown, then this is like mut‘ah, so it is not valid. End quote.

See: al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (41/344)

Regardless of whether this condition is mentioned in the actual contract or not, so long as there was agreement to that, or this is customary in such marriages, then the ruling in all such cases is the same.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said, speaking about the invalidity of tahleel marriages:

… and whether that is stipulated in the marriage contract, or was stipulated before the marriage contract, or was not stipulated verbally, rather it was known from the context of the proposal, the situation of the man and the woman, and the mahr, which all may imply that it is a tahleel marriage.

Bayaan ad-Daleel ‘ala Batlaan at-Tahleel (6)

And he said:

The conditions that come before the marriage contract should be treated like conditions mentioned in the contract, if they are valid, and must be fulfilled. If they are invalid, they will affect the validity of the contract. (500)



الله أعلم

The Aadhaar card could soon be your passport to a married life with the government asking all matrimonial websites to verify the authenticity of the profiles they put up.

The Women and Child Development Miinistry has suggested using Aadhaar card details to authenticate profiles and by early next year all matrimonial sites will have to comply. She has also asked them to crack down on fake profiles.